Meghann Conter, Founder of The Dames, is on a mission to help women step into their feminine gifts as they lead 6 and 7-figure businesses. Women-owned businesses that make it over 7 figures are less than 2%, and over 6 figures is less than 15%. The odds are stacked against women entrepreneurs! Business books have been traditionally written by men, for men. The business expectations we’ve heard for years have been established by men, for men. The Dames is different. It’s built by women, for women. It’s okay to be emotional AND in business. It’s okay to be personal AND in business. Meghann is embracing her own unique gifts and talents as she creates a community that empowers women to embrace an abundance mindset. Replacing the traditional business card stabbing style of networking with referral-based POWER PARTNER connections. Recognizing women have been natural connectors for years, she encourages women to collaborate and share stories. The overall message in our conversation is to embrace who you are!
The Dames YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UCSA6u4kfyb6VE3qXlDvyykw
The Dames: https://thedames.co
Jaime White
Hello, and welcome to the Believe Crew Podcast. The Business is You. I'm Jamie White, Founder of Believe Crew and your host, let's jump right in. We have Meghann Conter from The Dames with us here today, and as always, we'd like to just jump right in and get to know people and what they're doing and how they get started. So Megan, can you tell us more about The Dames, you know, that, I'm hoping you know that I love referring The Dames because I think you see some emails coming across. But I would love to hear more about it from you.
Meghann Conter
Yes, I do. And I'm greatly appreciative of that. I'm so grateful for you, Jamie, you've just been such an awesome member ever since you joined. And I love that we just got off of our Funference our first annual Funference. And it was such a love fest and a laugh fest and it was just so blissful, but really, that's sort of the beginning of the story too, is that, you know, when I was running my previous six-figure business in marketing, and I was a marketing coach, I found it to, like, lack a lot of my values of fun and love, like love was easy, because I love my clients from the very beginning. And if I, you know, because I had long-term relationships with them, I wanted that loving relationship, but fun. You know, bringing the fun into marketing can be challenging at times. And honestly, I was always networking, I was always doing that from the very first day that I started my business, in fact that I threw myself to the wolves, the day that I got my business cards, and I went and joined a leads group, it was the second week in business, I had no idea what the heck, running a business was like, or what a leads group was. But that's the kind of person I am. So I found so much networking to be really inefficient, and really low vibration, where I would walk into a room and just feel that target on my back or on my forehead and feel like man, somebody's trying to hunt me, everybody's trying to hunt me, everybody wants me as their clients. And that was just the energy that was exchanged at so many events that I was in, and then so many events that I was running even for years. And I also was struggling with finding my peers. So I knew that I wanted to grow to be an expert skier, I was at that intermediate level. But if I was going to get to the expert level, I couldn't do so by being on the bunny slopes just doesn't work that way. So those reasons coupled with the fact that, you know, back in 2015, only two, the stat came out that only 2% of women-owned businesses hit that seven-figure mark. And since we found out that around 10 to 15% of women-owned businesses get past 100,000 and revenue. And my vision is a world where women transform the culture of business and the paradigm of business. And it's really difficult to do that when we don't make any money. When we do have money. However, we can really hire amazing teams, we can have dynamic company cultures, and we can make ease and flow the way that we get to our epic missions, as opposed to hustle and grind. So really, it became my mission to get more women to the seven figure mark and more women into the C suite while collaborating with each other to do so. And that is what birthed and created The Dames.
Jaime White
Oh my word. I love the mission. And it's sad to think that like that number. I mean, we're a statistic, right? There's always some data somewhere. But what was the percentage that you said? Because that is a really low number?
Meghann Conter
Yeah, so it's 2% of women-owned businesses get to the seven-figure mark. And depending on what state you're in, in the United States is about 10 to 15% of women-owned businesses that get to 100,000 or more. In other countries, it's obviously way worse.
Jaime White
So right so we can be thankful for what we do.
Meghann Conter
Right? Exactly.
Jaime White
Oh my goodness. So how has it been different with trying to get women to get to that seven-figure mark compared to men, I know you talk about business card stabbing, and so like that masculine energy is so different. And I agree with you 100% Like changing the culture, I believe it's already changing. I mean, whether or not some people want to change, it is changing. And we're just kind of forefront and leading some of that stuff. But what is it that you're seeing? And how do you see the difference between you know, the men's, the more masculine side and the more feminine?
Meghann Conter
Yeah, well, I mean, gosh, this could go in so many different directions, because when you think about it, we are in a paradigm shift between more. Well, okay, let's say this way, in the 70s and 80s, when women were really starting to come into the corporate world, women were pitted against each other for very few positions high up. So women were allowed to go into the workforce woman went into the workforce, but we were like cats fighting for the low, you know, for the amount of positions really in the 90s too. And then in the 2000s, that's when more women started starting their own businesses, right? It started with like Tupperware businesses and things like that. Otherwise, women were working in their husbands companies a lot of times, but women started their own businesses. And there was still a lot of competition that was created and fostered, right, and we are now moving into a space where women realize that, you know, women have a natural tendency to collaborate and to be in community with each other. We've been doing it for 1000s of years, right? It's like read the red tent, we used to come together, to collaborate, to create everything to raise our kids to do everything together. And we knew that we were there was power in numbers. And we knew that we could do things better when we're supporting each other, not when we're knocking each other down. So women are starting to, I think, remember the things that are very natural to us, which is that tendency to collaborate and to support. And so when we embrace our actual feminine energy, that we all have masculine and feminine energy in us, and we really embrace that masculine sorry that well, that masculine too, but when we embrace that feminine energy, of collaboration, flow, creativity, receptivity support, surrendering, letting go when we embrace those energies, and we realize that we don't have to do it the way that men have been doing it, despite the fact that all the business books are written by men, despite the fact that every role model we've ever had in business says hustle, grind, push harder, put on more armor just push through it. That's not what is sustainable for women. And women who do approach business with that energy burnout over and over again, or they just have no fun. And there are women who are working 70 hours a week and are like what has happened to my life. Right. So I think there's so much that is in transformation right now. And I've just decided to take the ecosystem of networking, and create this new place where women can come together, not to hunt for end clients, not to make each other are prey, but to really create a space of collaboration, so that we can mastermind we can become each other's thought partners, we can create bigger footprints together, we can cross-refer business, and we can become business besties that guide each other as we're on these journeys.
Jaime White
When you say it, it makes so much sense, like listening to you say it and thinking about how it was versus how it is like very, very clear, very well articulated. So thank you. And when I think about how I was running, when I was leading the companies with 35 people, you know, I did feel a lot of ease and flow. But there was some masculine energy above me, that was like, mmm, I don't think you must not be doing enough, because you're making it look like you're having fun. It didn't matter how much we were producing, it didn't matter how much profit we had, it didn't matter how well we were actually doing. It was literally just the perception, like you're enjoying this too much. And you don't have enough stress about it. Like, I'm not interested in that business, like it's, so I here what you're saying.
Meghann Conter
I think even I'm remembering back to some of my early corporate days, thank God, I only had six years of them. But the women, they even were, we're still at that space of like, I'm going to find every single fault you have. And I'm going to expose it to the people above. And those were always men. So I'm going to expose your thoughts. And I'm gonna go ahead and call you down with my claws. And, you know, it was like even just becoming an entrepreneur, I experienced women and men collaborating with each other right from the get go. That experience for me moving from corporate into entrepreneurship was people supporting each other. And the reason why I chose to make women, the community that I'm inspired by, in the community that I'm here to lead is because one, I'm a woman. And because two, I think we are in need of safe spaces to have these conversations to be able to be vulnerable and to be able to try on these new things for size. Because when you're a woman living in a man's world, it takes practice to try new things. And it takes that space of holding that space for each other so that we can make new Pathways because really, there's a lot of single tracks that have been, you know, ground in the world of business. And women are like, Nope, we got to get out of that single track and create our own. It takes time that takes effort. If that takes it takes vision and it takes each other, holding space and practicing that surrendering for each other, and that holding the vision in front of each other.
Jaime White
Yeah, oh 100%. And you're also focused on a group of women that is really going from six to seven figures like as much as you can, you're really saying, I'm not looking to support right now, the women that are in that startup phase as much and really just recognizing that there are different needs at different stages. Can you talk a little bit more about that?
Meghann Conter
Yeah, absolutely. So I mean, it was funny, I was on another podcast earlier with Jessica Fernley, we have a show and we were talking about that journey from six to figures as being very different. And that when you look at the stats, only 10% of us in the top of the triangle, right, there's 10% of us up there growing our six figure business to seven. And there is just, there's so many things that happen at that sub $100,000 level that there are experts out there like crazy on there are so many great business books, so many great communities that already exist, to suit to serve the needs, wants and desires of that community. But when you get to six figures, and then you start realizing, okay, my marketing needs are changing, my finance needs and acumen are changing. And we really, it's even at the 250 K mark, the 500k mark, each basically, and it's a you know, general, but like at those quarter of a million dollar marks, the needs change, the challenges change. And I see it pretty universally across the different levels, like when I'm running the mastermind calls, at each different level, you see the challenges at 250k. And then you see the ones at 500k. And it's like, it's so interesting to see how they are all very similar. And then you add on top of it, the challenges that we face just as women and the programs that we have, and the beliefs that we have, that we really need to change our mindset on if we're going to grow past those different blocks. So it's not only the business, echelons that we cross through, but it's the mindset ones as well.
Jaime White
So Does anything come to mind for you when you think about the women ones? Because I know what you're saying is true. And I know I've went through some of this stuff myself, but like trying to actually kind of put a finger on like, what are some of those? Because I mean, all the numbers you're saying are correct. You know, like, there's just I remember even being at the seven-figure, and then trying to move beyond and there was someone and he didn't want to change his systems. And I said, I can't you I cannot hire somebody to make this business grow or to help you if you refuse to, you know, move and he didn't. So we ended up having to move him. But um, but just what are some of the mindsets specifically for women? If you can think of any?
Meghann Conter
Yeah, the mindsets or the skill sets that need to change? What are you more interested in?
Jaime White
Both both anything that comes to mind?
Meghann Conter
Yeah, when you look at those the levels of like when you're at 250k, you really need to make sure that your SOPs are in order. And that's pretty much unanimous when you look at the challenges and you really dig into it. And you say, Hey, do you have things documented? It's really tough when we're starting to add more team members really, if you get to 250k, and you haven't added an assistant, to move to that next level, you have to, it's just, there's no way unless you're working 24/7, which I would never ever recommend. So you start realizing that I need to work less and make more. And I need to have standardized documentation for everything so that somebody else needs to step in, they can follow the SOPs, then when you get it to like the 500k mark, your number one problem becomes hiring and retention. And it just becomes that space of I've, yes, I've got my programs and everything documented. But now I really need the next team and I need the next level of knowledge. Because I need to understand cashflow much better than I do now. And I need to understand forecasting much better than I did before. So those you know, challenges start coming up. And then yeah, so those are just a couple of the skill set levels. But then the mindset is, gosh, I don't know that they're universal as much as it you start to see it in women where it's either we try to make it all about tactics. And it's all about mindset, or so I think women have the hardest time with acknowledging that there is a mindset shift that needs to occur and If you are a woman who just is geared toward personal growth, it's a different story than those who aren't. I find it really interesting. A lot of times when I ask women to share a personal victory or a personal lesson they've learned recently, it's almost always professional, what they share. And, you know, one of my sayings, or one of the, you know, things that I see as a pillar of the Dames is that we can only grow as much professionally as we are willing to grow personally. That means constantly working on our mindset, our beliefs, our own connection to whatever it is that we see as our guiding force, our guiding light, there's, there's a lot of things that we need to work on on a consistent basis as women to be able to achieve those next levels. Before we can actually, before the skills that we learn can take us anywhere. So it's, yeah, I mean, there's all kinds of challenges that we have as women believing that we're smart enough, believing that we're good enough, believing that, you know, beliefs of like I suck at math, it limits us from understanding the numbers, beliefs around, I was never accepted when I was in middle school, and I'm still not accepted. taking things personally, there. I mean, there's just an endless amount of mindset challenges, not to mention things like anxiety, or depression, that rate that raise up for entrepreneurs. And while there's some great studies out there, for entrepreneurs in general, I don't think we've even started to see the effects on mental health for women entrepreneurs as being different from men, which they definitely are. So there's so much evolving in this world.
Jaime White
Well, you're speaking to the choir, and I love it, preach it, preach it, because this is what I saw happen. And I mean, definitely one of the things that I have on my board is, along those same lines is like your personal, you know, you can only I forget exactly how it goes. But like basically develop personally so that you have the capacity to sustain your success. Because what I saw is that if I if we weren't developing personally, then we would sabotage and so even if we did hit, you know, those upper limits, then go right back down. And the other thing that was coming to mind, as you were talking is some of the things that I've gone through even myself, and I like to challenge the norms, I like to think that I'm out there, you know, challenging it, and then I hit my own walls. And my coach challenges me, you know, and she's like, why can't you do that? And I'm like, good point, you know, and that was really, it was really working with a coach that started to change my self-talk, where I was like, he's like, What is your self-talk? And I'm, like, self-talk, like, I think it's fine. Why? What are you hearing, and I just, I didn't realize that I was expecting men to be leaders first. And then I thought that I was there to support or to, you know, just not ever shine any more brightly. Than, you know, I didn't want to outshine and really thought maybe I would need to hide my kids, you know, maybe I would need to do it a certain way. And the reality is, I'm gonna show up barefoot, I'm gonna show up with my kids. And like, if they show up on a podcast, I'm just gonna say, hey, guys wave. Because I don't want to apologize for who I am. I want to be able to be authentically me. And I love what I mean, what you're speaking to is what I believe is really, really important. And I didn't know, that's the main thing is I didn't know I needed somebody like what you're saying to tell me.
Meghann Conter
Yeah, and I think that's the embracing of the authentic self is part of the divine feminine energy that we all have in ourselves. And I remember another thing from corporate was like, I felt like I had to bifurcate myself and be like, here's my personal life, here's my professional life. I'm walking around, like I have slipped down my middle and I'm just and it just doesn't work that way. But that was also why I felt this like exhaustion all the time in this like, oh, man, I just need to drink my way through this professional life because there's nothing fulfilling about it. Until I came to be an entrepreneur and was able to stitch myself back together and say, I am who I am on all sides. And I bring myself to the stage no matter where I'm at, literally and figuratively, if I'm crying, I'm bringing it to the stage if it is where we are as women. Yes, exactly. And I think that that is so needed for women that we can show up as our emotional selves because that is actually a strength that we have, and that it doesn't get poo pooed and that we can show up with our kids. We can show up with our, you know, dogs we can it doesn't freakin matter and it shouldn't make anyone feel like we are less credible. When we show up as we are, it's really like this, completely rejecting these unsustainable ideas of how women need to behave in business and in life.
Jaime White
I didn't realize I was gonna get a therapy session out of this. Because, oh, you're like, like, I was told, you know, this is business, it doesn't need to be emotional. And yet, when something hurt, like, I can be logical, I can hear what you're saying. And I can still process information. And I'm crying about it. Like it was stuff that's close to my heart or something that, you know, really hit me. And
Meghann Conter
God forbid, I have feelings.
Jaime White
I know, the idea of business, not being emotional, like that's like saying business doesn't have people in it.
Meghann Conter
Right? Well, that's the difference between masculine and feminine. That's the difference in the energy of business, when we make it when we have not make it when we have the feminine flow through. That is what comes to life.
Jaime White
The other thing that you talked about a lot that I did not hear and some of the other things that I was involved in was abundance, versus the idea that we're like competing. And just, I mean, abundance has always been there, how come it's been hiding? Is there any reason that you can imagine for why the scarcity mindset is like, everywhere?
Meghann Conter
I think we should consult Star Wars. There's, I mean, there is dark and there is light. And that is, I think, where a lot of it comes from, there are always two sides of the same coin. And once we realize that both exist at the same time, and we can choose one or the other. That's when the shift happens. So when we're looking around, well, if, yeah, how philosophical do I want to get if there is a certain energy that is running the show, it means to let us think that competition is the only way to exist and in competition is scarcity. There's only room for one, there's only room for XYZ, because we have to keep a certain populations small, or we have to make it so that they don't think that they can do what they really can do. So our best thing that we can do for each other as women is to say, no, there is plenty to go around, there is more than enough business to go around, there is more than enough for us to share. And that when you have that belief shift and get rid of the old beliefs that no longer serve you, that's again, part of this whole personal growth thing. That's when possibilities open up and when the thing when the shift occurs, but you have to be able to be aware of an old belief that's running the show for you and decide, I don't want to I don't want to have that running my show anymore. And so there is abundance available to us at all times. And I'm going to harness that, and I'm going to bring you along and you along and you along and you along and we're all going to, we're going to see it in action together.
Jaime White
Well, and I love what you're doing with The Dames and creating power partners and helping people really dig in and recognize that, you know, these people actually might not be competitors, like, they might actually be your power partner.
Meghann Conter
Yeah, and that requires just even from that one little concept, it's like when we as a business owner, or a career professional, know where we were, our lane is and where we are just like this is our sweet spot. This is my zone of genius. This is my, the big leaf is one of my favorite books, but like that this is my zone of genius, right? This is where I excel and when I can be in that lane. Man, can I fly? And am I more filled with joy in that fun you were talking about earlier is just present in everything that we do. When others come together with that belief, saying, I know that this is my area of expertise, collaboration becomes the natural output of a relationship, even if you're doing the same exact thing, which never happens. But let's just say that, you know, I was in marketing for a long time, which I was, and I was a coach. And I specifically worked with women who are going from high six to seven figures in that transition, who were typically in professional services. They were pioneers, they were really trying to change the way business was being done in engineering in finance and accounting in all of those industries. And that was the zone of the women that I worked with. And so I knew exactly who they were and how to find them and then I knew exactly who I didn't want to work with and I would be able to cross-refer to other marketing professionals and other marketing companies who are working with a different audience. And I also knew where I began and someone else needed to take over. And I built collaborations with those who needed to take over those who are building websites, and doing creating podcasts and creating all of the business, advertising and everything going forward. But that requires an understanding of, I know where my zone of genius is, I know where I best apply myself. And even if you're a career professional, it's the same thing. If we can find our passion in that area, where we are really here to create shift and change, then we can have all kinds of really cool intrapreneurial projects that we worked on, that we work on. Or we can find those collaborations with other women in corporate or other women who are leaders to fuel us and to make it so that we are making a huge, a huge difference in the world with the work that we're doing.
Jaime White
That's awesome. I was thinking, as you were talking to about this thing called a SWOT analysis, where I mean, like, it's, it's one of the only things I see consistently over and over. And so just randomly, do you have like a different version of the SWOT analysis? Because isn't that like, identifying your threats and opportunities and like sort of a competitive, more masculine way? Or is that just good? Across the board?
Meghann Conter
Ooh, that's a really interesting question, Jamie. And I love that I love you must have connectedness in one of your strengths.
Jaime White
I don't know, Maximizer is my number one I am like, if I can't be maximizing, then life is over.
Meghann Conter
But absolutely, I think that this is there is a need for evolution of the SWOT analysis. From a feminine energy standpoint.
Jaime White
That's what I am thinking, really cool concept. Because I've been looking for something similar, and I'm not running into it. So I'm like, I think I think it's time. So I want to think a little bit more about The Dames and like some of your big vision, like, is there anything that you'd like to share with us about what some of I know, you just had Funference, which is super awesome. And I'm hoping you're planning on it again next year, because I was not able to make it this year. But it's on my bucket list.
Meghann Conter
Definitely. And I realized I didn't really answer your question about power partnerships will go ahead. It's part of that vision, right. So it's a mechanism by which we can actually collaborate as women as opposed to compete. Because when you come into The Dames, it's not that hunter/hunted type feeling that you experienced in a lot of other networks. It's actually that space of okay, we're here to collaborate with each other. So that we can map which looks like masterminding becoming each other's thought partners, collaborating, cross-referring business, creating little micro mastermind groups, and so much more. So that we can all help each other as we're achieving our epic missions to open doors for each other to have the resources that we need, really, to create this space of us not all being alone and being siloed in different places. And that's what the power partnership model enables us to do. And it creates this high vibration and atmosphere in The Dames where everyone is coming together to support each other and to collaborate. So that was sort of the Funference was the microcosm of the macrocosm, of what goes on in the dames. And I'm really excited. We always have, you know, in-person events, and there are different chapter areas. But this Funference is going to be able to be something where everyone can come together on an annual basis, to really experience and meet in person, and collaborate and see what collaboration looks like. And, gosh, let go of some of those old outdated beliefs that don't serve us anymore, like women or competition or I don't belong or, you know, I'm inferior, or she's, why is she XYZ, why? There's just so many things that we get to evolve through as women. And that is really part of the vision that The Dames is healing women and our experience of each other. We are healing our experience of business. And we are really creating new possibilities for women to see that I can do this. I can have a family that I love, and I spend time with and I can have an amazing business that creates employment opportunities for other others and that helps me achieve my epic mission. And I can have a personal life that is filled with just so much joy and everything that fulfills me. I can have all these things. And it doesn't have to be the way that it has been for centuries. So The Dames really we are headed to places where we have chapters in all first interior markets across the world. And we have this virtual chapter that just spans and connects people and women in remote areas globally so that we can have the ways of meeting each other, gaining the skills that we need, having the ability to problem solve in an instant, so that we can get past those blocks crushing the ceilings that are keeping us held back, you know, being able to have the strategic connections that we do in The Dames where you're meeting the women who could be your best power partners, all of these things so that women can continue to can connect across global, you know, country lines as well. I mean, there's so much there, in itself of that I'm so inspired by in terms of women collaborating, who are living in completely different cultures, because it's going to take all of us to create these paradigm shifts, it's going to take all of us to change the face of business, it really does.
Jaime White
Well, I love what you're working with, as you know, I mean, the way that you guys have structured it so that I'm meeting someone, before I even come to my first events, made it so that I was more comfortable than any event I've ever gone to. And I'm not someone that gets nervous in a room of new people. But how amazing to already have a friend before you get there like that was for sure. Amazing. And then the other thing that I've noticed is there have been other rooms that I've been in where people have tried to partner me up with somebody, but they don't do a lot of work, like you guys are doing work behind the scenes to help people understand how to communicate who they are, like, who are who am I and who would a potential power partner be so that you guys can do that work that has not been done that is very rare, like the other groups that I'm in, they're like, here's a peer. And it's like, well, just because I'm female, and she's female, doesn't mean that we're peer like, this is not actually helpful. And so I really want to point that out, because I've just been noticing it that you try and join a mastermind group. And they put you with someone that is not even close. I mean, like, if you value your time and you value who you are, you're like, actually sorry. I'm out. And yeah, that's what's been happening. The Dames has not been like that at all. It's been awesome.
Meghann Conter
Thank you, I appreciate that. And yeah, it's I learned sort of the inception of the power partner concept a while ago, and part of what we didn't learn in terms of how to collaborate was how to identify those strategic power partners. And depending on where women are in their businesses, you know, sometimes it's like, women who are running seven-figure companies just want to meet other women who are at that level too, because they don't know where else to find them, right, or women who are at a certain level in business want to just find others who are facing those similar challenges. And then we have the side of, you know, hey, you work with this kind of clientele. And you do so in a, you know, a CFO advisory role, you would be great to collaborate with someone who's coming from a CPA role or a CMO role. Because you're working with similar clients. And you're helping those clients with different problems that are non-competing in nature. So we really teach our members how to identify those best power partners. And then, yeah, we teach you how to form long-term relationships that work. Of course, it's not working. So you actually have to put effort into it, and follow what we teach. It's not net, laying on your butt and waiting for results to come to you, as we like to say, but it is that space of we create the teachings and we create the environment for you to be the most successful at networking as you possibly can. And the new networking community building, not old networking, business cards stabbing.
Jaime White
Yeah, that's awesome. So even for you personally, the other thing that I've noticed is that you've been vulnerable, like when you're having a not good day, you share that with The Dames. And then that's kind of different, too, right.
Meghann Conter
Yeah, I guess they think that what I saw from other networks that I had belonged to before starting the dames was well, this is again, a trans transition from women needing to feel like they have to be in their masculine energy all the time versus their feminine. I think a lot of women who started other networks have leaned into their masculine a lot. And meaning they don't show what's going on behind the scenes. They don't show what's going on in their personal lives. And what in my experience with that did as a participant of those communities was made me feel like I am messed up. I must be the only one who's going through these challenges. I must be the only one who's struggling with XYZ and Man, I am never going to make it type of thing. You know, that was what I felt and what a lot of my female peers felt like as well. It's just this like, oh my gosh, like they have their stuff together so well, and they never fail. And I just feel like I fail on a daily basis, and how am I ever gonna make it? How am I? And I realized, like, in my own personal growth work, like, that's all BS. And so if I can show as the leader, that yeah, here are the challenges that I'm going through right now. And my community members can then be like, okay, thank goodness, I'm not the only one who feels like, I'm losing my mind or like these, my life is running on two wheels instead of four, or whatever, demystify it.
Jaime White
I feel like I've been seen, I went to a women's conference that I was expecting to be so empowering and so uplifting. And I crashed, like hardcore. Like, I actually wish today that someone had taken a picture of me ugly crying in the middle of the floor, while everyone is getting their food and going on by like, it was so ugly crying. And yet, I'm very thankful for the experience, because I recognize now that's not a room I want to be in again, there was something there, that was like, You need to be somebody different. And it just hit me so wrong. And then after the conference, I crashed hardcore, like, I was like, if my team went to bed here to like, just kind of hold me. And just like space for me, hold space for me, like, I'm like, I got to find out who my support group was, you know, through that process. So like, everything is a learning opportunity in that instance. But there are other groups that have not been vulnerable. And I remember my mom, I mean, she ran multiple, I don't remember how big the business was at the time, but they were multimillionaires at a young age. And I knew she had a cleaning lady. Like, I didn't think that she was this perfect person that could clean the house, take care of all the kids, you know, feed the dog and run these businesses. And so I knew that there were people helping her in different places. And, and then when somebody else was, you know, hiring a cleaning lady, and I asked her, I said, Wow, how do you get your toilet so clean? Like, okay, full disclosure. Like, I can't, I haven't figured that out yet. She was like, Don't tell my children, but I hired a cleaning lady. And I was like, Why? Why are we hiding this?
Meghann Conter
Yeah, why aren't we sharing these life hacks. I, I went to a business event, it was like 10 or 11 years ago, and I met a now Dame at this event. We were both at it together. And we were talking about this the other day. Because we've reconnected and when I was there, the woman who was leading the group was preparing, I was co-presenting with her and an event and she was preparing to speak. And she said to her assistant, who was there? God, I forgot my glasses, and I can't see the screen. Do you think I should tell them? Or should I just fake it? And she was like, Oh, for sure. Fake it. You don't want them to like, and I just was sitting there like, what world? What planet? Am I living on? I did I just take a spaceship to another. I'm so confused by this. Does anyone care that you have bad eyesight? I mean, you're over 40. Like, wow, it just blew my mind that that silly level of and that's like the simplest of things. Right, like, god forbid her dog had just died the day before. And she would just be like, Nope, not gonna show it. Nope. I'm like, That is such masculine energy. Right? That is such the, I gotta I know, there's nothing wrong here. I'm, I have to hold it all together. 100% and perfect. And it's like, we realize that that is such the old way of doing things. I'm like putting my hand on my heart.
Jaime White
Yeah.
Meghann Conter
It's just if we continue to propagate that as women, we will never I can say this with 100% assuredness, we will never be able to change the way that business is being done if we don't allow ourselves to fully show up as who we are, when we are feeling that way. And that we can stop making excuses for ourselves and for each other and that we can stop being be be-autches to each other as well. And we can hold the space for each other as we fall apart. That is what real women do with each other. You know, Vanessa Shaw, who was a chapter president for us, sure her whole philosophy is get rich without being a bitch. Hugely important for all of us to realize that we can support each other. We can make lots of money, we can make huge impact. Have to in this world without tearing each other down. And we can do it while showing the things that are happening to us and realize that we are not alone. That's the whole thing is like not showing what's going on for you creates division. It creates separation, it creates this feeling of inferiority amongst people and amongst women especially. And that just sucks.
Jaime White
I feel like you preach it so well, I'm so thankful that we can share this message with the world. So is there anything else that you would like to share or anything else that you'd like to express? Because this has been amazing, and I'm very, very thankful for the work you're doing.
Meghann Conter
Thank you for letting me preach. It's fun. It's just so nice to have a conversation with someone who gets it and who's leading it as well. So thank you, Jamie. Let's see, I just would say, when you are thinking about growing your business, as a woman, allow yourself to really feel is what I'm doing in alignment with where I really want to go? Is it in alignment with who I am as a female expression as a womanly expression? Is it balancing my masculine and my feminine energy? And how can I look around me and support those who are around me as we are all growing? And how can we do so in a way that honors each other and our differences and are different personalities and are and doesn't create this competitive backstabbing, comparing energy that is so old and outdated and just needs to die? And how can we instead embrace this space of women coming together to grow while we are laughing and having fun and in ease and flow? So just think about that. And like, please just do that as much as you possibly can?
Jaime White
Let's just really be Yeah,
Meghann Conter
yeah, let's be that. Let's be, and let's allow each other to be. And then let's create environments and ecosystems where it allows each of us to be and to heal. And where we increase when we where we magnetize, those who really are aware, and those who are awake, and those who create these ripple effects that just inspire so many. Like, that's what we all want. That's what we all need.
Jaime White
I am very thankful, as I've said, and even just that last little nugget that you shared reminded me of just a moment ago, again, full vulnerability, and full disclosure, like, there was a moment where I was looking at what's where someone else was, and had that moment where I was like, oh, man, and there was something about it that I wanted, or thought I wanted. And then I stepped back into my own self. And I was like, actually no. Moment, like, it's okay.
Meghann Conter
Totally. And that's, that is such a human condition. It's a human thing that we all do. And that's okay, but it's great.
Jaime White
We've been domesticated.
Meghann Conter
Oh, gosh, that's for sure. We can really catch those things and nip them in the bud and say, Okay, well, first of all, is it even possible for me to be that person and have, nope, because that would mean I'd have to have all of their aspects. And that is not, we're all unique beings. So why the heck would we try to compare ourselves or make it so that it's like, I'm going to develop the same exact kind of businesses, that person I'm gonna have the same exact life. Like, it's just, it's silliness.
Jaime White
It's one of my favorite questions to ask people when they're like when they when someone is a little bit jealous of something that I have. And maybe it's, you know, a way that I'm being. And like, for me, networking is not stressful, it's fun, I leave energized, it's not, you know, I have woo as one of my top strengths I'm not looking for. Like, there's just new people to meet. There's nobody that's not a friend. It's just the people that meet, but I'll ask them and I'll say, you know, if you want this strength of mine, which one of yours are you willing to give up? Because you can't have and then all of a sudden, they're like, oh, I don't want your strength. Thank you.
Meghann Conter
That's so good. That is so good. And I really love the way that you did that to say that. I mean, that's, gosh, embrace who we are, embrace, know thyself and embrace thyself. I think that's the last thing I want to leave. Like I would like to leave us with that you just inspired is when we know what our strengths are. I know I'm an Enneagram seven, I'm an enthusiast. I am an ENFP. So I am the life of the party. I bring everyone together and I am a woo connectedness communication strategic Maximizer who ideated like crazy and bring such beautiful have ideas to the plate, and I suck at organization. I suck at details. And guess what I embrace it because I have people on my team who are great at it. And they are phenomenal. And they just lead in that way. And I've learned to embrace exactly who I am. And what that does is it gives you freedom, Jamie to do the same exact thing to embrace who you are. And then for us to say, oh, where can we collaborate? Where where are there places?
Jaime White
Okay,so the podcast is not ending here, because you just opened up my favorite door like personality assessments, there's no way. I'm an Enneagram, eight, wing seven, so I can have fun, but I like a challenge. And the conflict to me is not conflict. It's building trust. So where do you have some conflict that we need to you know, just build some trust, and I'm an ENTJ. So it's a little bit more I can be intense if I need to with that strong DI in the disk. And my Yeah, I actually love life languages. If you haven't done that assessment, another one you can take, and I'm just starting into human design. I'm like, What is this apparently I'm a manifester. I'm like, Yes, I am. Sign me up. Very cool. Yeah, this I mean, like, all of those things that people said, they're like, why do you want to know all these things? They just put people in a box? And I'm like, no, they don't they helped me understand what my gifts & strengths are, who I am, right.
Meghann Conter
freed up so much expansion and freedom,
Jaime White
Right. And then what really helped me was to understand the shadow sides of the different things or the unhealthy ways like as an Enneagram, eight, I am not a pretty person, if I'm an unhealthy version, like there's no reason.
Meghann Conter
That's the beauty of it like, I'm a seven, wing eight. So we took so I get hedonistic and I get really ugly, if I'm in a low vibration, unhealthy space of my, my number, but everyone does. And the more we can be aware of that and be like, Oh, my gosh, I'm hanging out in the lower five, I have my Enneagram health and I, what can I do to get back up in the higher five because this is not pretty. And, and also, like those times when we have to spend too much time in our nonstrength areas, even as an ENTJ ENFP. If I have to spend too much time in the thinking and the logic and not enough time in the feeling in the creative burnout, if I have to spend too much time being hyper-organized and hyper-focused and hyper, like structured and not enough, the When you know yourself to this level, and then you care to know others to that. Right. Right. Because there's a there is an aspect of like, I know a lot about eights. And I know, my best friend isn't eight. And I know that my husband and I, he's a nine, wing eight, and I'm a seven, wing eight. So we fight at eight. I know so many things about how to not react and how to respond to different people based on knowing this information that I just know now about you. And I think that like takes it up to another level of women corresponding with each other and women caring about each other. Because when we can know that ask those aspects we don't, we don't tend to trigger each other as much. And we tend to realize, Oh, my own content, right? going up against something in me. And she's a T she's not an F. So she's not. She's not hard. She's just thinking about things instead of feeling them like I am.
Jaime White
Yet the thing that I've run into, especially being an eight is that women or people in general, but I would say women a lot want people to be nice all the time. And I'm like, nice for me is challenging. Like that is my nice, and there's growth opportunities for me too. But, but like even when we've had relationships and you know, they'll it's almost like we shame on the other person that's not like ourselves sometimes. And so recognizing that those are actually their gifts and strengths instead of believing that that is a weakness like that. That's healing for me.
Meghann Conter
Thank you for this, Jamie. It was super fun. I really appreciate you just bringing in the engaging conversation and the engaging questions. You're the bomb. This is podcast is the bomb. This was so much fun.
Jaime White
Thank you and we'll talk to you soon.