As a small business owner, overcoming doubts and fears is normal and takes grit! Talmar Anderson of BossActions shares what she has experienced as a small business owner, what works for her, and what works for her clients! Overcoming limiting beliefs, working with a coach, and investing in your own personal development is essential as you grow your business. Talmar shares years of experience, and in true Talmar fashion, gives it to us straight up! Enjoy the rollercoaster ride of accepting the truth bombs about what it can be like as an entrepreneur growing your business!
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Jaime White
This is the Believe Crew Podcast and the Business IS YOU! Being an entrepreneur, no matter what stage of the journey requires personal growth to sustain your success and create the ultimate life of abundance. I'm Jamie White, Founder of Believe Crew and your host. Join me as I interview coaches, entrepreneurs and authors that inspire us to go where they have gone. Be inspired today to grow and be the best you. I'm excited to get started today with Tamar Anderson and Boss Actions in the house! Tell us about everything that you do. And really, why did you get started?
Talmar Anderson
Oh, my gosh, okay, so a long time ago, I was a little girl in a galaxy far, far away. And no, I definitely do not wear Leia's hair. So I started this iteration of my business, is that what we're asking?
Jaime White
Yeah.
Talmar Anderson
Well, I'm a movie person. And I, my story starts with, I worked with clients as an operational consultant for about seven years. The movie part will make sense in a minute. And so about seven years, I've been working with clients, as an operations consultant, and strategic, right, we could talk about demand, accounting, information, technology, marketing, whatever you want, how to grow a business, how to build a business didn't matter. But over seven years, everybody asked the same two questions.
Jaime White
What was that
How do I find good people? And what do I do if I have to fire them? Because all these small business owners were like, really? I don't know. Did I make a mistake? Are they gonna sue me? What do I do? And I thought, There's got to be an answer out there, right? Why are so many people asking these questions. And as I looked, I was like, Maybe I am inventing these wheels. And what I found was that there there were organizational structuring consulting consultants out there. But usually, business owners didn't have access to that kind of concept of teaching and awareness, until they could like afford $100,000 A year masterminds and buy them, they would fly somebody and they would build it for them. And they'd be like, okay, good luck. This is what you're doing, right? It's what you're doing wrong. Do it this way now. And so I thought, How is somebody supposed to get to the profitability that allows them to join $100,000 A year mastermind, if they don't understand how to attract the right people, they don't understand how to be specific on what success looks like, and, and the whole hiring and management how tos. And so I was determined. I was like, Okay, maybe this is a thing, that I should go out and do the thing. It's a thing, right? It's a real big thing. We'll talk about that. But so I was I was still testing, I wasn't exactly sure that I was going to do this. And much like a lot of us coaches and consultants, we like to go and learn and reach out. So I was going to a new mastermind group of people that I didn't know very well, it was up in New York City. I lived in Virginia DC at the time. And so I go up to this group of 75 people, and they have us all stand up and introduce ourselves. And I, I opened my brand new journal because gosh, don't we all love our journals? Get it open, right? Does that feel like I've been seen? Now, right? Drill, you're like, I'm so ready, I'm ready to learn and read through this. Let's do it. And I open it up and I write hiring and I was like, class, that means I have to tell him. So I stand up. And I introduce myself. And hi, I'm Tamar Anderson, and I help small business owners understand how they can hire for their companies. And this is the movie part, right? So you know, in the movie, where the main character is like, they're doing some big thing and they take like a giant sword, and they stab it in the ground and it got kind of like this big. All kind of goes out, right? Like it's all these waves out. It was like I get goosebumps every time I tell the story, I swear to Gosh, right now up and down my spine. Everybody you could tell that everybody was like hiring really can learn that isn't a thing. Oh my god, girl do I want to like I could hear I could hear their minds, like understanding and processing this and, and like curious about it. I was like, wow, that is vastly different than when I come in. Say I'm an operations consultant. They were like, they got it. They needed it. They wanted it and I was like, Okay, this is a thing. And so that is the beginning of boss actions, which we officially that was in 2017, the end of 2017. We officially launched at the beginning of 2018.
Jaime White
That's amazing. So then in the end, do you help clients with one on one work and how do you help them?
Oh, yes, but in my my desire to make it accessible. Remember when I first started researching it, I found out that at, you know, people with money can't we can get the answers faster than the people without the money. So we do have versions of our program. It's called Bossification, because everything's a verb with me like it's action action action, right. But so we wanted to create an on demand version, because I do really truly want to get to business owners as quickly as I can. Because the sooner they can learn this process, which everybody can learn, it's just a step by step thing, then they can do it. And they can start to get benefits better and better as the more they practice and repeat and use this process. So I do have an on demand version, I also have an in person, group setting where people can come and they can spend a couple of days kind of make it a shorter learning process and really get it and do it and walk away going holy cow, that was amazing. And then the one on one work is absolutely something that we do. And it's, it's, it's interesting, because I tried to get away from it. In my head, I needed a scalable business. And this is a personal story, right? I had originally tried to launch in person events for my previous company Talmared Up, because I was over back then too. And so my previous company, and right, two weeks before I launched my very first one. And it was like, this is before Airbnb. So like I had rent this giant house and I had to, I had a caterer like, we were doing it big, right, two weeks before, my father passed. And what that meant was, I didn't get to deliver my thing, beyond the brief part of it was just the physicality of having to be places and help family and, and and I wasn't in the best headspace probably for delivery. And so I just had to cancel, which meant money back to everybody deposits lost because of the short timeframe. And that it was it was like a big deal. And so I had that block, right? That idea. Oh, no, no, no, it's never gonna rely just on me. I'm good. Again, the team concept was there before I even knew it. But I wanted scalable, I wanted things that were accessible to clients with if I couldn't be in the room. Right, so. So back, I've gone back and forth with one on one coaching is really my answer. But yes, we do work with one on one clients.
Jaime White
I wonder if what I heard you maybe saying was, even though you wanted to just scale it, you've realized that there is a power in one on one coaching and that your clients still want it?
Talmar Anderson
Well, let's be clear, there's money in one on one client work, right. And I don't mean it just like that, I really have come to terms with the fact that I will never get away, I will probably probably still deliver the VIP boss days, which is the three day intensive, at least some of the time myself because being in the room with everybody getting it in the house. Oh, that's just so sexy, awesome, fun. I love it. And I want it all the time, I just, I just want to talk about you and your team and how we can make this easier for you all in one. So, but I recognize I won't do all of them all the time. And I have backup team that can step in if I need to go for a month, right, and I'm sorry, I just I have to.
Jaime White
You've created systems around it, that's great. What I'm interested in next is what you had to do to develop personally, and this is going maybe a little deep and vulnerable. And I'm hoping that you've done the work.
Talmar Anderson
So the personal development side, I had tons of limiting blocks, right? I didn't think I could do live events. Gosh, I was I was nervous. And honestly, you know, our live events are full all the time yet. So they're not exactly what they need to be. And we're getting ready to launch a second version of them. Because, you know, that's what they want and what they need, and it's different. So live events are scary, because you're spending the money, whether anybody shows up or not. Right? And, and it really takes that faith of I believe so much on what I'm doing that I'm scheduling it and putting it out there. And until the minute I show up, I'm gonna let anybody join in so that they can get this benefit, right. And so one, you know, you might think you're going down for one person, and you know, within a week before three more people sign up, so you only have four, okay, I don't care if there's one person in the room, I'm showing up, given my whole heart if it turns into a private VIP bully for that, right, three days, but I don't care about that. But the beliefs behind spending the money before it's there. You have to do that.
Jaime White
I love what you're bringing out there. And I think there are a lot of people that can connect with that and so many don't even start because of those beliefs that hold us back.
Talmar Anderson
Very scary, right? It's very scary. And, and I will tell you, when we first launched there was a couple months that we can we do it every four to six weeks right now. And so there were a couple of months where we're You're like, that magically just went away? Yeah. Like we weren't just into the ether. And nobody was like, Hey, didn't I see there was a date? Yeah, you're like, Yeah, we have dates all the time, right? When we first launched, you know, we definitely, you know, I had one when one person showed up, and I just delivered it, like there was 15 people in the room, which is our maximum. And it was awesome.
Jaime White
That's so awesome. And really what you're speaking to is what you ask your clients to invest in, because when they're looking to bring on new team members, sometimes it's before they feel ready.
Talmar Anderson
Well, yeah, yeah. Well, so yes, and yes. And no, because I really try to make people I give them tools so that they can see that the cash is there, right? We've got different ways, right? Like, look, we don't have to do it before. I mean, some people are proactively hiring, they're like, I know, this contract is signed, I have to deliver, we have to get the people and let's get out there. And then there's situations where they're like, Okay, I'm investing in this, it's gonna hit we have to hire now. So that we are because some people want to be proactive, which is what I recommend, it's way less stressful, even if. But the truth of the matter is, a lot of us are hiring reactively. And so if we can show them that we're reacting to trending sales, trending demand, right? We're busy because the business is working, which is why we need to hire. So it's not, it's not a thing, where if I truly believe it's not a situation where I'm asking them to magically find money, they don't have they have it, it's just about having the faith that we're going to find the right person, that's not going to waste their money, we're going to find the right person that's going to do the job and build the trust. There's a lot of emotions to get passed for our clients. And they, they might say it's money, but we can easily prove that out like you've got the money here, put it in this client go backwards three months, and you'll see you could have covered their monthly salary. So we know that money's there. So let's talk about the trust factor, which is a huge, that's what our I mean, I'm telling you, that is exactly what we are all about communication, and building trust in the team you have. That's what we do.
Jaime White
So I want to go back to something that you said about the limiting beliefs for yourself. How did you work through those?
Talmar Anderson
Oh, coaches, energy workers, acupuncture, alcohol, I use all the tools I can get my hands on. It depends on the day. Some days, I'm using all the tools on the one day. But you know, for me, the real AHA came I mean, I LOVE business. That's why Jaime and I are good friends.
Jaime White
Yes.
Talmar Anderson
And so for me the AHA about really having to get my shiznit together was my son. He was seven years old. And he he was invited to a taekwondo competition. Yeah, my kid was a black belt seven, just go with it. And so we were invited to a competition. But in the competition, they did rounds of three, like you had, they had all these people that were just not everybody's got to do this. It was invitation, right? But they have these little groups of three. And he goes through and he gets in third. Honestly, you know, it wasn't his best performance. So we were like, Okay, you did you try it? Right. That's, that's all that matters. He was like, I came in last. And I was like, Whoa, you did not come in last. I remember, I came in last. And I was like, that's not true. And he's like, I should have done this, I should have done Oh, the should'ves, the should'ves, should have showed ups. And that it was just worthless. The effort and time and energy he put in was worthless. Because in his mind, he only saw that he came in last in that moment. And I recognize that I can say whatever I want, which is always been a loss feeling right? When there were a leader or parent, we have to demonstrate. And I know that that was something I would do. I'd be it. I could close nine sales today. And I should have done 12 I could, I could have helped somebody save an employee. And actually then three more clients were like, I can always push myself that it could have been should have been would have been. And so I recognize that I had some real stuff I was demonstrating and who I was and how I acted. That was going to totally affect my kid. And I was like, Yeah, that was my do it switch. It just so happens that all those issues also, as I work through them got better for my business and better for my marriage and better for my friendships and health and all that stuff. But for me, the catalyst was seeing my son not enjoying a sense of achievement, and that really bothered me.
Jaime White
You're really connecting things for me. So I think of when my kids turned to me and they're like, Mom, you don't teach us to do this. Why are you doing that? You know what I was like? You know what? That's a really good question like when they're and, and that is something that I think about, and I encourage other people to do is sometimes as parents, I feel like, I'm willing to spend more on them than I am, than I am on myself giving myself permission to spend on myself and invest in myself. But the thing is, what our kids want most is to see us doing it and modeling it so that they can believe it's possible.
Talmar Anderson
And that goes back to another story, which is, you know, when I when I really I used to manage law firms before it was my own business owner. And I was thinking about being a business owner, and I got some great advice from this wonderful woman, Donna Ivy, shout out to you. And I was really worried because my son was two when I was starting my business. And I knew that not only was I working, but that meant I was networking, when I wasn't working, I was really gonna invest time and energy. And I was worried about how that would affect my young son. And Donna said, this is the perfect time. She said right now when they need you, they will pull on your skirt, they will cry, they will yell, they will be like, I want your attention. Now. You need to be there when they're teenagers build your business, so that you can be more accessible and in the room when they're teenagers. Because when they come looking for you, if you're not there, they're not going to scream and cry and pull out your skirt. Right there and accessible you're not and because family life is a big part of the decision to be a business owner. So I can be where I want when I want how I want. That was really relevant. So I knew I was doing okay. When one day i He must have been four. He comes up to me and he goes, I was like, okay, but I gotta go because it was like an afternoon or evening. And he's like, Okay, are you going to a speaking or a working or something like that? Because he knew I did speaking and somehow there was a lot of things in that. And then he knew that sometimes I would just go network and work that out. I was like, Oh, it's just a working. Okay, there's got a joke. And then like, so already doesn't get it because I'm not the stage. I'm going to tell it. But I was like, Tell me your joke. And he tells me his joke. And I was like, Okay, I'm gonna tell it. Well, as looked out during the networking event, there was a time when I had like five people in a circle. And we were just chatting. And I was like, wait a minute, at least, like, at least for a while, I was pretty sure my parents said, My son, four years old gave me a joke. Can I tell you? It was like, never like, of course. And I was like, okay, the apple fell from the tree and rotted or died, or I don't remember, it was a horrible joke. But they all laughed, because they got a great job. I got to go home to my son, and tell him, everybody laughed at the joke. And he felt like he was contributing to my business. And he could see that I had had fun. And he knew how I loved doing my work. So there is something to tie in your family into what you do, and using them as a mirror to be a better you to be a better person to deliver for your clients. I mean, not everybody's a parent, and they're brilliant business owners. And I think it just so happens that my motivation to be a better person, my awareness that I needed to work on, it came through my child, which I think is the mirror for most parents, right?
Jaime White
I love that. Like, yeah, and oftentimes, I do think that entrepreneurs have a reason to develop personally because again, there's something that gets stuck in your like, in life, we could get stuck and it's not worth it. You know, we just can't give ourselves permission or don't feel like it's worth it to make that investment. But in business like okay, I have to get past this.
Talmar Anderson
They have to I have to I have to and th at fear golly gum. It's just, it's just so big and pervasive. And it just creeps right back in. And, and, you know, I've been so I vote so my son is going on 14. So I guess I'm on seven years of working on this stuff. Trust me, we're still thinking all of it, right? Mel Robins, gives me permission to be okay with not being okay for a really long time. So appreciate that. But I I really, it's just a lot and the fear it doesn't matter how good it is. There's fear and this human condition really just that that we're just so programmed to doubt every one thing right?
Jaime White
Did you feel it as much when you were working for someone else?
Talmar Anderson
I think I felt it different but definitely not as much right? I I was always in positions where I knew exactly how well the business was doing. Like I knew whether we need to worry you're not I knew whether we had you know, I was always in the higher echelons of the leadership of whatever company I worked at. So I didn't have a lot of Risk taking because I had bigger teams, they were already developed, right? I, I didn't really start a lot of companies until I started companies for myself, I, I would take them and improve them and build up grant make better things, you know, whatever we were doing. But I but I wasn't really a person who started businesses until I did my own. And that was, you know, I was okay not knowing things. I just, I'm impatient, and that's life is not they don't care does not care, your clients don't care, your bills, don't care, your family who wants to take a vacation, doesn't care that you need three more months to just get this campaign up and running. And that's the constant lesson. I mean, if there's a law that I am beating my head against all the time, it's how do I make this faster? How do I get to the result faster? And learning to step back and just be like, I'm where I'm supposed to be? Right? Like, whoosah? Well, you know, I do I rub all my rocks, right? Like I am very well, but it's always okay. I have to the lesson, the same lessons over and over again. Right? Isn't that the worst part? Yeah.
Jaime White
So when you're working with your clients? Yeah. Do you find that there's a, is there a number, like when you get to a certain number in business or certain place where some of these things don't hit anymore? Or is it just different?
Talmar Anderson
Absolutely not? i It doesn't matter whether I'm talking to a client that has 25 million in revenue, or 25,000 in revenue from scratch right now. It's, it's the same thing, what if it doesn't work out? What if I fall on my face? What if I can't deliver on what I say? What if I'm not worthy, the one that comes up later is worthy of success, right? We have issues early on, but it's very different. It's as we as we start to hit that success. That's when that worthy one starts to, you know, the imposter syndrome. And all these things really start to come back at us because success comes and we're like, I still feel like the same person that was freaking out. Right. And so so that one changes, I think as you as you get more success, and you achieve more, but but I find that we all have the same worries, exact same fears.
Jaime White
So when you said that about the worthy in the success, I felt that. Like where it doesn't, I mean, that was the experience that I saw in people that had multi-millions that they were still stuck, maybe at the dream from 18, and hadn't really upgraded to the, you know, the next level. And, and so what you said about how you're like, I feel like I was the same person I was then or all of a sudden it was like, you move from doubts to success. So quickly, there's like, your brain didn't have a chance to keep up. Tell me more about that. Because that, like, I felt that.
Talmar Anderson
And I think it's right, we build, we're striving to get past our fear, right? All we do is to get to a place of peace and needs. That's my philosophy. We're all trying to get to peace needs. And and we might define peace and ease differently. But that's the goal. And so once we have that, the brain just fills it in with okay, but now you're gonna lose it. And then once you're confident, you're not gonna lose it, you're like, well, now we're not we have too much of it. It's not fair. And then we're like, okay, we give back but we're not giving back enough. It does not matter that the you know, so I'm reading the way of the Peaceful Warrior, which is a great at one of my favorite pieces in the story is that it takes the mind and the brain and the soul. And it's like, it's like these, they're, they have different things that they do. And it's just, I just really liked the way the, the writer discusses it. And so, so for me, when I say the mind, that is my doubting voice, right? When, when I talked about my mind, it's my doubting voice, in my brain is my intellect and my soul is my emotion. And they mostly define it that way. But that's how I read it. And so when I noticed more and more that when I say my mind, I'm, I'm using it as a negative word. I'm like, my mind is going crazy. My mind is my negative doubt voice in my brain, and in my soul that keeps pulling me you know, separating those two, so they don't align. And that's where you start to feel discomfort. And, but I think that the mind is constantly like filling that void. If we can get some peace and ease, then it's like, Nope, that's not right. We got to fill it up. And so it's up to us to learn how to be whole. In that newness, which is its new So how do you feel right?
Jaime White
It's a new, the getting comfortable with the uncomfortable like, well, but everything that you're saying is connecting for me and the things that I was seeing, and trying to, I was in a position of implementer. And so I wanted to believe that everything was possible because I saw the vision and then didn't realize how the visionary might be having doubts. Because as an implementer, you're just more task oriented. You're more like, this is my job, I gotta move it forward. Like, it doesn't matter if I have doubts. It doesn't seem to hit as hard as when you're the visionary. That's my take right now.
Talmar Anderson
implementer or integrator, right? That's right. Right. Is, is, is focused on the steps, there are right steps, and they can see the steps are moving forward. So where's the, where's the problem? What are we talking about here? Right? The visionary has an image that's constantly moving and adapting and changing. So if that's true, you don't get every sense of the goal line. So that's where visionaries and CEOs and bosses really need to have a defined moment of success. You know, you'll hear coaches save, celebrate those moments, but but the problem is we don't define them, right? How, what do I need to feel, to know that I've achieved something and we'll say, I want six clients. And so that could be a celebration.
Jaime White
Right? Right.
Talmar Anderson
That was a great day, or great month, year, whatever. So So you take that and you go, Okay, that is a thing. But then the visionary is like, Oh, crap. Now what do I do? Right? And in fact, in fact, in hiring, it happens. It happens when we there's a role that I talk about people hiring, it's called the second in command. And so when we really bring in that's the implementer, integrator person, usually, even even visionaries that consider themselves technicians are still not usually great. implementers integrate, right? They get there. They're like I can, I can process the heck out of this spot right here. Yeah. Somebody else do it, right. And that's why we hire the second in command. However, it's the same thing as these limiting beliefs. Inevitably, every single one of them will have a moment where they call me and they say, I don't know what to do, they're either struggling with because all of a sudden, the customers are no longer looking to them as the answer person. Because we built it that way. They've got people that can answer so you don't have to. So they lower that egos loss, right. They're like, I don't know what to do with my day, everything's getting done, I don't know what to do with myself. Right? So then then they come back to us, and we can have a conversation about what the CEO life really is gonna look like and how they were the choices are worth and help them kind of get focused again. But it's that same void, right? If we do everything right, it will create empty space, whether that's in our mindset, and our limiting beliefs, if it's if it's a way of letting flow come in. Or if it's hiring the right people, we're going to create a place of space, which means we have to start over again. And we have to decide a new goal, a new purpose, a new life. Lesson, right, that we're working on. And that's it's it, you know, there's a constant achievement refilling situation. And I think that's hard. Sometimes.
Jaime White
I love all the truth that you've been sharing. And it feels like I should say, truth bombs when it comes from this direction. Yeah. And is there. I love it, of course. And sometimes I have a list of questions that I work from, but I'm wondering if there's anything else that comes to mind for you,
Talmar Anderson
you know, with regard to limiting beliefs, and so, you know, everybody has to do it their own way. And whether that's, you know, everybody talks about taking the time to meditate, or journal, or pray or exercise, let me be clear, we're all using those different things for the same thing. And what we really, I believe what we really need to get to is an understanding that space is the big goal, which is kind of what we've been talking about, right? So you are successful when you have space, and it starts by getting based on your calendar, right? I have, I have an hour or two, where I'm not stressed, and I don't have to work and I get to just think,
Jaime White
I love that.
Talmar Anderson
Times this week, I made it to the gym. Right? That's space. And yes, we're going to check out that we did a healthy thing. But let's be clear, that's good for the soul and the mind and all the things that's giving us space spaces, what we're looking to achieve, and that's where we'll find peace and ease. And I think that as we hit those achievements, the space is there. And instead of letting ourselves be in that, we have a tendency to go. What can I fill it with? What can I worry about? What can I stress?
Jaime White
So do you feel like do you feel like that's a moment where there's this? I'm okay with being and just being instead of feeling like I have to do I still have value? Even if I'm just in space?
Talmar Anderson
Oh, yeah, girl. Yeah, I remember working through that one. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, there's value in me not, I am still a contributing member of society, the universe, humankind whenever you think about my just being being in this moment. And um, you know, I've said this before, I'm convinced my husband was sent to me as a guide to learn presence of moment. He's really good about pointing out sunrises and sunsets, not that I wouldn't be like, Yeah, that's great. Well, I'm driving down the road to eat. Right, right. But he'd be like, no, no, come look at this. And I'd be like, I would not have seen it. I wouldn't I would have been in the peripheral I would have been like, oh, yeah, the sun is gorgeous. I'm grateful for another day. But instead of like, holy cow, can you believe the color of those clouds? And you know, the trees? Look, it looks like there's a balloon, disco light, or whatever we're seeing in that moment. And, and so I've been I've been gifted with people in my life, that helped me remember, be in the moment, right? And it's up to you to decide to do it or not, I can easily go nope, don't have time. Right. Right. That's when I turn into that person. And so that's the thing I've been being present being in the moment being okay with not doing my best friend calls me hyper efficient.
Jaime White
Sounds like a good word to me.
Talmar Anderson
If you're going up the stairs, you should have three things in your 100%. Yeah, what do you do, and I just want to go get a thing. You should partake in the thing. There's got to be something that needs to go out there, right? I'm just like, all the time. Like, no, no, the joke is two more minutes. I need two more minutes, which never is two minutes. And I knew I was using it too much when my son would tell me two more minutes. Two more minutes. Yeah. That might mean something different than I taught him to believe.
Jaime White
Awesome, all good stuff. Anything else that you want to share? I love this. I'm so thankful that you've been willing to be vulnerable and share stories with us and excited about where your business is going. Yeah.
Talmar Anderson
I'm thrilled to be here and you know, big fans that all support you in whatever you do and the Belive Crew, I love them very much and I work with them. So I just I just really excited to see where this goes and how you're gonna deliver in such a fun and amazing way for all these people and all these coaches. It's going to be very exciting. I'm excited to be on the ride.
Jaime White
Thank you