EP 1 - Start With... Why Personal Development
In our inaugural episode, the Founder of Believe Crew, Jaime White shares why, in her opinion, personal growth and leadership development are crucial to personal and professional success.
Jaime White 00:00
This is the Believe Crew Podcast, and the Business Is You! Being an entrepreneur, no matter what stage of the journey requires personal growth to sustain your success and create the ultimate life of abundance. I'm Jamie White, founder of Believe Crew, and your host, join me as I interview coaches, entrepreneurs and authors that inspire us to go where they have gone, be inspired today to grow and be the best you! Today, Kara White with Believe Crew is going to be interviewing me so that we have our first episode with me as the starter, how are you?
Kara White 00:38
Hi, how are you?
Jaime White 00:41
I am feeling great. Excited to have my first podcast, recording and excited to get this off the ground and launching something I've been thinking about for a while.
Kara White 00:52
So in true, Jamie fashion,
Jaime White 00:53
Let's jump right in.
When did you decide to become a coach?
Jaime White 00:59
So I did not even know the coaching industry existed until probably four or five years ago. And I'm trying to think back now. When I first started to even be interested in the concept was when Kevin and I, my husband, were on a family trip listening to an audible book by Patrick Lencioni. And it was called getting naked. It was a business fable. And I remember turning to Kevin and saying like, if that's real life, if that's possible, I want to know what that's like. And then later met a coach that was actually doing things similar in real life, like it felt like I had, you know, listen to something in a book that seemed like it couldn't even be possible. And then six months later meeting somebody that's actually doing it and then wanting to learn. How do I learn? How do I know what is this, like, I honestly didn't even know that it was an industry until that book exposed me. And then within the next six months, I not only met a coach that was doing it, but then also signed up to become a coach myself. And in the beginning, I wasn't sure exactly what I was getting into. And then once I started to unpack the coaching industry, I was just in love with the fact that this industry and these people existed, that there were people that were so interested in becoming the best versions of ourselves and just discovering how to help others become better. So it was amazing it was like uncovering a log and seeing everything underneath that you didn't even know existed.
Kara White 02:45
Why did you read that book, to begin with? Like, where were you at personally, that made you even read that book that tripped the coach trigger for you?
Jaime White 02:54
That's a really good question. I think my husband actually found it. And at the time, we were both in positions of leadership and wondering how do we become better leaders. And when I would Google leadership development, there wasn't a lot that I was finding. So I think we were just looking at how do we, how do we lead teams better? How do we lead the companies that were in? And how we didn't know that we needed to develop personally, in a different way. But we were we had an interest in becoming a better leaders so that we could lead others.
Kara White 03:29
Would you say that this was the beginning of you discovering you needed to do to develop personally, and like the start of your journey for personal development and ultimately healing?
Jaime White 03:42
Yeah, when you think about it that way, that's really interesting. Because a few years prior to this, I had made a commitment to healing, because my mom had died of cancer. And I found myself in my early 30s, wondering, could I get cancer and like, what would it take? What do I need to do to invest in myself, and so I was investing in, you know, acupuncture and trying to make sure that I was healthy because I was at a point where I was feeling really exhausted and didn't understand why I couldn't sleep off the exhaustion. And so I had started to give myself permission to invest in myself, personally. But the only way that I really knew how the only way that I'd seen modeled was massages, chiro appointments, acupuncture, maybe oils, maybe some supplements, eating healthy food. I didn't know that there was a connection between the mind and the body. And I didn't know that I wasn't personally growing. So for a couple of years, I really tried to heal by doing these other alternative methods that I was aware of. And then when I had this interest in becoming a better leader I didn't realize that that was going to uncover and kind of open up a door to developing myself personally in growing in my mind and body, I didn't know that we're all built with this basic human need to grow and contribute. And so I was technically in a position to contribute, I was in a position of leadership. But I wasn't necessarily believing and understand what it meant to lead myself first, so that I could lead others. And I think we all have to start somewhere, I can't look back and say, Oh, I wish, sometimes I want to I'm very utilitarian. I don't like to waste time. So sometimes I want to look back and say, oh, man, I wish that I would have had like, some better mentors that would have showed me this stuff early on. But the reality is, this was my journey. And up till that point, I had only been exposed to how do I help myself through self care, that did not have to do with the mind. And then even later, realizing that, then it kind of came back full circle, and realizing that we can develop our mind and the subconscious, but then we actually have three brains, you know, and, and starting to develop my intuition and really trusting myself and learning to heal from a new perspective, it was really a great process.
So you read that book, and like you discovered a passion for coaching and loving that world? Like, at what point along that journey, did you discover like, oh, I have to do a work in me to be able to do the work that is inspiring me here.
Jaime White 06:42
So it wasn't that long after it was probably about nine months after reading that book and starting to invest in a coach personally to say, okay, how can I, you know, what is this? Like? What is this experience going to be like? How am I going to, you know, like, when he first told me his price, and I was like, Oh, I don't know, maybe we can start with one month and then see where it goes. And then after a month, realizing that it was totally worth it. And the relationships in my life were changing, because he was encouraging me to respond instead of react. And he was helping me to understand the motivations behind my behaviors and the motivations behind others, other behaviors and, or the behavior of others. And so what started to happen is that, in my relationship with my spouse, with Kevin, I realized that we were in some kind of a weird cycle that I didn't know prior to that I had been engaging in bad belief systems and bad, like. So at some point, I stopped reacting to the triggers of the relationships that I had with those closest to me. And I started to step back and question what was the actual motivation behind? Why are we having this issue? And what is my own self-talk around it, and he was just helping point out who I really was as the best version of myself, and how I might be responding out of my fears. And so then I remember saying to Kevin, at some point in, it was November of 2017, I believe, and saying, I think there's a level that we're missing that we're just not aware of, because I really like you, and then you'll do something to, like, literally make it so that I don't have any feels like why do I like him. And so we started to unpack the subconscious mind. And I didn't even know it existed really, before that, you know, what I knew up to that point was the brain we're only using about, you know, 10 or 11% of our brain. But nobody really talked about anything more than that. I didn't know that, behind that the brain is still operating on these old belief systems and old patterns. And so then the question became, well, how do you heal that? And what is it that I'm operating out of? What is it that I'm reacting to that I don't even know I'm being triggered? And I don't even know. So I think the first step was really the fears the motivations and becoming aware of my own behaviors around that and then learning to respond instead of react. And we've been on this process now of learning and personal growth for four or five years. And I would say that I still have some things that I react to but I mostly can catch myself. But it's been a journey, not an overnight, I'm not an overnight success.
So like what I hear you saying, when you talk about the work your coach did with you, or you did with your coach rather, is you became aware, in that process, aware of the relationships aware of what you were doing in those relationships. And though you had limited ability, maybe to change situations, you could deal with yourself and bring change to yourself, which then can affect the situation. And that also that awareness led you on to growth and healing and equal measures, the cycle of it all. So having been through all of that, to this point, where you are in your journey, and coaching, like, what do your clients come to you for? What do they depend on you for? And what do you love to help them with?
Jaime White 11:00
That's interesting that you bring up that part about awareness, because, you know, you can step back, or you can go to a seminar and say, you know, we need to be aware of something. And even in marketing, you know, the first step of selling a product or services to create awareness around it. And I think prior to becoming aware of personal development and healing and growth in that combination, I mean, we just went on this journey of consuming a lot of information to become more aware of things. It's very interesting to step back and, and think of the level of awareness, then, compared to after you, you know, really opened up your mind to maybe there are other things that I'm not aware of. And so I think what you're saying is the same things that people come to me for and depend on me for is this new level of awareness that I might have some experience, I might ask them a question, I might challenge their belief system way of thinking, I love to kind of open up that window or that door and say, Have you considered this, like, let's look in let's, let's look a little deeper into who you are as the best version of you. And really, I love to believe in people before they believe in themselves, and show them just a little piece of like, but what if, what if this could be possible, and let's make sure that it's in alignment with who you are, and who are you. And just really getting clear on that clarity, sometimes, depending on experiences, and depending on, you know, the inner circle that we have people, they, they might not have our best interests at heart. And it's not really that they intentionally mislead us, or send us in a different direction, but they literally don't know how to help us because maybe they haven't developed personally. And we're just assuming that they're a good influence, because they're someone that's, you know, been in our lives for a long time. And so I love to be that person that challenges the norm. So I think just believing what I've seen is that when the people around me feel for me that I really truly believe in them. And they can, they've just not had somebody believe in them at that level before I remember some of the comments from some of the clients. And one of them that stands out as she's like, I was saying something negative about myself. And you said, I asked a question like, you know, why do you want to believe that? And she was like, I don't know, it was the first time somebody ever told me, the first time somebody ever questioned, and I forget exactly what it was around. But I think it was she was talking negatively about herself. You know, we do that a lot, even as women like self depreciating. And it's sort of this community that we've built up of like, here, let me see if I can talk down about myself. And switching that to be like when people give me a compliment today, I say thank you, versus the perspective I was coming from before was probably almost like I'm sorry. Like, it doesn't make any sense today. But I think that is, you know, and really, what I think my clients look at me and want to believe that what I believe is possible. You know, what I believe to be true about them that they are amazing, and that their unique gifts and talents are meant to be shared with the world in a unique way. And that they are the only version the only person that can be the best version of them. I think they start to get curious, like, Is she for real? So I love along with that to align core values and our strengths and who we are, and then start to build this vision like it could be possible five years from now, like, if you start today, it could be possible. That's my favorite.
I love that question like, why did you choose to believe that? Because I think like what I feel when you say that is this awareness being brought to someone's mind, I get to choose what I believe. And I don't think we're programmed or raised, conditioned to have that awareness. But we do we get to choose that. And the more conscious we live in everyday life, the more we choose our belief systems on a conscious level. And I also love that you're believing in people is what people depend on you, I see that to be true. And that's also why you're the Chief Belief Officer. So with what you consider you help your clients with, and what you've seen them struggle with. What is the problem you see in commonality between them or just in the world in general, that you would love to see solved and maybe be instrumental in solving?
Jaime White 16:19
This question might make me cry, just in full disclosure ahead of time. There, it seems, like there's so much anxiety and overwhelm and hurt. And I've been told over the years that coaching is not a replacement for therapy. But what I see is that there's a lot of healing that needs to be done. And sometimes you need a light through that healing of like, what else is possible? Who cares if I heal? What's the point of healing what's on the other side. And so what I love about coaching and those one on one connections, we're really where we believe in people's best Is this, like, possibility, you know, just really believing that some of the hurt and the pain in the emotional pain that it can be worked through. And what I've, what I've started to notice is that when working with clients, the thing that we are most afraid, could be possible, the thing that we are most interested in, but almost like afraid to say, is the thing that we're supposed to walk towards.
Thank you for being vulnerable, like and not choosing an answer that didn't make you cry, because you could have done that. But it's way more powerful when you just step into the thing that is hard to even say because it means so much to you, right? Like, the reason why that is so hard in some ways to say is because it's so close to home, if you think about your mom, or even those still alive that have been close to you, and you see the pain and you want to help them and yeah, it's their own personal choice. But if you had the power to solve what you see in the world could use solving. You would love to do that. And so of course, it's going to be hard to speak about. So with that in mind, if you knew you couldn't fail, what is the vision you would have for your company? For coaching in general, or for you personally? All three? Where does that take you? If you knew you couldn't fail? What would you do? What would the vision you would have be?
Jaime White 19:13
I love that question. And I'm usually the one asking it so it's definitely different to be on this side of the question. And in addition to wanting to, for people to believe in themselves, I believe that that worked for me through one on one coaching and having someone that believed in me. And just someone that saw the blind spots that I wasn't able to see and ask the good questions. And so I really believe in the power of one on one coaching and not just courses and books. You know, I've read tons of books. I love to read the first three chapters especially and then recommend it to someone else. Because I always say There's always great questions in the book. And there's always great work that could be done. And I don't do it.
I did not realize until and just when you said that, that actually maybe what you were looking for, for me every time you recommended a book was for me to read all the chapters in between, because how you and I read is very different.
Jaime White 20:19
That's so true. That's so fun. So I've, I've done a lot of the work that way. And it is helpful in creating awareness that is, but there's so much that I have gotten from that one on one connection with someone that really has my best interests at heart, and is willing to listen to what I don't even know I'm saying. And so believing in the power of one on one coaching, what I would love to see is that it is possible for people to be paid as one on one coaches, because right now, I see coaches doing it part time, they're struggling with it. And so I really want to make it it's, to my knowledge up to this point, it has been available to higher level executives, business owners, you know, athletes, and it really hasn't been the norm for people to either be coaches at that starter level, or for people to even have an awareness to the possibility of coaching at the starter levels. And so as much as I love, and I'm thankful that some people are getting coaching, and it has been an industry that's been around for a while, I would like to see that coaches and people that have a heart for coaching and an interest in helping others in this way that they could make a business out of it or that they could earn a living from it and not have to be struggling, juggling, you know, two jobs and a part-time career and coaching. So I want to be a part of the transformation, I think is already happening. And I think that it is already available in different ways. But I want to be a part of that. And leading in making it easy to have a business coaching or have a career in coaching, and providing the opportunity for that one on one to support. And then of course, for coaches to grow personally and for them to get more coaching, and in different areas and different lanes and just for it to become normal. You know, if we normalize something, then like think about yoga. 20 years ago, it would not have been normal for let's just say maybe a group of guys or something to go and do yoga together. And 20 years later, like it wouldn't be looked at in the same way. And so how do we normalize coaching and make it accessible? That's my mission.
That's amazing. I agree with your mission. Glad to be on the journey with you to make coaching normalized and available accessible to a wider spectrum of people. So anything else you want to add? As we wrap this up? Anything you want to leave the people with today?
Jaime White 23:27
I think the main thing that comes to mind is really just kind of giving a shout-out to you and saying thank you for being on the journey with me and believing in me sometimes before I believe in myself and seeing the vision and then holding it high. You've been a great coach internally and obviously offering to other people. So it's just been awesome to have you as part of the Believe Crew.
It's awesome to be a part of it. I’m happy and excited for all that is to come.
Jaime White 23:56
Thank you for interviewing me.